The Way of the Cross for Families

 

Russell Moore writes in his book The Storm Tossed Family: How the Cross Reshapes the Home with humble self-disclosure from experience in ministry and as a member of family, both physical and spiritual. He mixes both bittersweet and humorous anecdotes with serious reflections on the meaning of life and scripture. Family carries varying shadows and supports for each of us. Moore reveals how burdens of family responsibility may bring blessing and how tragedy may bear the seeds for hope. He has an aversion to baptism that he never really explains, but otherwise I found this book moving and helpful. I recommend it to you.

The theme of the cross reshaping the storm-tossed family struck a chord with me.  The pressures that culture, peers, and extended family exert upon our choices threaten the influence of religious beliefs in our decision-making processes.  The letter of 1 Peter in the New Testament discusses at length how Christians are to follow the example of Jesus, specifically in suffering. Most of us would prefer to avoid suffering, I suspect, but achieving success in furthering significant causes may demand it.  Serving as a soldier exposes one to potential maiming or loss of life.  Military service and sports participation often require placing personal preferences second to what is best for the team.  This too is true for the Christian as member of a family whether that family is his spouse and children or the church.  We submit our desires to the needs of other family members.  Love sometimes requires difficult, seemingly impossible decisions.  When repeated abuse and habitual, unrepentant betrayal mar the home atmosphere, the Christian's choice will be one that benefits the family as a whole. Separation or divorce may be necessary to protect not only personal safety, but to ensure the welfare of children, and to motivate the offender toward reform or seeking healing of what causes the violence or addictive behavior. Patience, commitment (keeping promises), and love prompt the Christian to seek what will be best.  That may not always be easy to discern. One of my children had health problems that other family members sometimes dismissed as minor or even attention-seeking devices.  That child died in his twenties; his health problem had caused lethal damage despite our attempts to seek treatment that would heal him.  

Seek the salvation of your family, but seek to improve their physical and emotional health as well. Pursue a lifestyle that improves health and affirms the value of life. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. He is the author and perfecter of our faith, and his way is the path to salvation for you and those whom you love. If your family is rocked by conflict, betrayal, or harmful impact from personal choices,  seek help from strong, trustworthy advisors who will affirm your faith in Christ while protecting your safety.  The way of the cross is not easy, but is the way to love.

The Great Physican

John chapter 5 describes a man who has been ill for more than thirty years. His frustration is increased by his perceived proximity to healing that remains always just beyond his realization His frustration ends one day when a stranger directs him simply to get up and walk. He arises, realizes suddenly he is healed, picks up his bed (cot?) and begins to walk home, only to be accosted by accusations that he is violating religious law by carrying the bed on the Sabbath. For years,decades, he had sought healing, but had not found it. Now he encountered one sometimes now called "The Great Physician;" both he and the healer are castigated by those so intent on keeping the fences of the law strong that that they forget the purpose of God's law, to heal and to save. Today, many still seek spiritual and physical healing for years. Too often, when they find it, alleged followers of Jesus castigate them for their prior affliction or because they still carry "baggage' from their illness or bad decisions. When Jesus later encountered the man whom he had healed, he told him to "go and sin no more." He did not handcuff the man to the sin or the illness he had known before forgiveness. He did not consign him to perpetual crippling by the scars of his past. Jesus came to heal soul and body. He urged people to realize the reality of their sin and to seek to escape it. He realized, though, that temptations would persist, and that scars would remain. He knew too about "older bothers" who never forget and seldom forgive long repented and now healed sin. Don't impede the Great Physician. Forgive and encourage those who have been abused, who have been scarred, who have made all the wrong decisions, but who now press forward, focused on the only one who can save them. Pleas don't distract them. The chart is one I remember my father preaching from when I was a child. The chart is mine now, and a few weeks ago I too preached from it. Dad taught me about the compassion of the Great Physician. He also warned of the scars that persist even after healing (forgiveness), and about those who seem to enjoy prolonging the pain for those who have fallen along the way.Jesus healed because he aligned himself with God the Father, who gave him the authority to heal those who were sick even when some thought it wasn't the right time or place.

What Are the Boundaries of Forgiveness?

Are there actions or attitudes for which we will not forgive people? Well-publicized stunts or statements that horrify and cross societal lines of decency like a "comedian's" posing with a bloody head of a politician or a rock singer calling for violence against a national leader stir frenzied retorts. If a perpetrator apologizes in the midst of widespread public outrage, many question the sincerity of that apology. A man is convicted of identity theft; a women is convicted of sex with a boy who was her student at local school. We find it difficult to trust. You learn that your physician also performs abortions, or that a high school friend exploded a bomb at an abortion clinic. A friend married someone of the same gender, or another friend condemned that action. Last year, I read a social media post that identified being against divorce and remarriage as the most important indicator of faithfulness to Christ. Here is the question: What do you do when any of these people or the people that they oppose (if you agree with them) start attending the church where you worship? What do you require as proof of repentance? What are your conditions before you will forgive? What do you believe are the limits of God's grace? Some of the situations mentioned above might require different responses; a few might have legal requirements that present challenges to any assimilation. What would Jesus do? He reached out and touched lepers. He told an adulterous women to "go and sin no more" after quieting a group of men that wanted to stone her to death. He told a parable of a father who forgave a rebellious son and celebrated his return with a party (His other son did not appreciate the celebration). He also rejected some who could not commit fully to discipleship. I do not intend to minimize the horror of sin. I do ask how well we handle forgiveness. I question how well we help the fallen get back on their feet. Are the boundaries we set the boundaries that Christ sets? If we think that they are, have we considered carefully the arguments of those who disagree with us? How well do we comfort those whom God has called to salvation? How do we protect those who are vulnerable if they fall back into sin? What are the boundaries of forgiveness?