What Are the Boundaries of Forgiveness?

Are there actions or attitudes for which we will not forgive people? Well-publicized stunts or statements that horrify and cross societal lines of decency like a "comedian's" posing with a bloody head of a politician or a rock singer calling for violence against a national leader stir frenzied retorts. If a perpetrator apologizes in the midst of widespread public outrage, many question the sincerity of that apology. A man is convicted of identity theft; a women is convicted of sex with a boy who was her student at local school. We find it difficult to trust. You learn that your physician also performs abortions, or that a high school friend exploded a bomb at an abortion clinic. A friend married someone of the same gender, or another friend condemned that action. Last year, I read a social media post that identified being against divorce and remarriage as the most important indicator of faithfulness to Christ. Here is the question: What do you do when any of these people or the people that they oppose (if you agree with them) start attending the church where you worship? What do you require as proof of repentance? What are your conditions before you will forgive? What do you believe are the limits of God's grace? Some of the situations mentioned above might require different responses; a few might have legal requirements that present challenges to any assimilation. What would Jesus do? He reached out and touched lepers. He told an adulterous women to "go and sin no more" after quieting a group of men that wanted to stone her to death. He told a parable of a father who forgave a rebellious son and celebrated his return with a party (His other son did not appreciate the celebration). He also rejected some who could not commit fully to discipleship. I do not intend to minimize the horror of sin. I do ask how well we handle forgiveness. I question how well we help the fallen get back on their feet. Are the boundaries we set the boundaries that Christ sets? If we think that they are, have we considered carefully the arguments of those who disagree with us? How well do we comfort those whom God has called to salvation? How do we protect those who are vulnerable if they fall back into sin? What are the boundaries of forgiveness?

Is Jesus Lucky to Have Us as His Disciples?

Robert Burns wrote:

O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! It wad frae mony a blunder free us, An' foolish notion: What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us, An' ev'n devotion!

In our vernacular, "would some Power the gift give us to see ourselves as others see us.It would from many a blunder free us, An' foolish notion: What airs in dress an' gait would leave us an' even devotion!" The picture with this entry came to my attention when a Catholic priest posted it. The chart aptly portrays what he sees when he considers the vast array of non-Catholic churches. I come from a background that the priest might consider a good fit for the cartoon. We try to be Christ's church. At times we may forget that Christ determines the parameters for inclusion in his body and that we do not. So we say things that earn the response, "So, you think you're the only ones going to heaven." Actually, it's not my call who goes to heaven. God makes that call. You and I study his message to us (the Bible) and listen to discern what he wants. Jesus prayed for the unity of his disciples in John 17. As the chart on the board in the cartoon depicts, we have not done a good job at maintaining that unity. In part that division has arisen because of personality clashes, in part because of doctrinal disagreements (a few of them actually critical), in part because of disagreements about what was most important, in part (sadly) because of ethnic boundaries. Ephesians chapter two teaches that Jesus came to break down barriers, not to erect them. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except by me"(John 14:6). Another biblical passage, Hebrews 12:1-3, affirms this when it directs reader to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author (or trailblazer) and perfecter of our faith. If we want to be Jesus' disciples, we must focus on how he walked and what he said. The experience of the early church as described in the New Testament also gives us insight into what a group of people that belong to Jesus look like (Christianity in the New Testament is lived in fellowship with other believers, not in isolation.). They met together for prayer, communion, and teaching. They sang and encouraged one another. They corrected those who had lost their focus. They considered themselves, as Jesus had, one group (or body or church) belonging to him. There were no franchises. Is Jesus lucky to have us as his disciples? No, we're the blessed ones. He has called us out of darkness into the light of the path he cleared. Let's follow him. It won't be easy, but we will do better if we realize our relationship to him and let him lead the way.

Where Do We Go When We Hurt?

My journey of faith began in a family of faith and a family of worshipers (the Bible often calls the church a "household" or "family."). My parents loved God and made assembling with other lovers of God a priority for us. They reminded us often that it was a privilege to assemble with other Christians, that in some nations it was definitely not a right to do so. While I have discovered that some communities of faith may be more toxic than healing, healthy faith develops best in community. There are times when we may need to go alone in prayer to express our pain and hurt to the Lord, but sometimes the occasions when we hurt the most are when the church that we thought didn't care awakens to its responsibilities. Singing with a congregation, even listening if the pain is too great to sing or the song evokes particularly emotional memories, allows other believers to speak words of grace and love. Even when one's presence challenges others, ability to forgive or to consider whether they should allow you to participate, growth in relationship to God and his people occurs. We all sin (Romans 3:23). We all need forgiveness. Assembling together allows others to bear one another's burden (Galatians 6:1-2) and remember that being a part of Christ's saved people is not an exercise in isolation nor about feeling good all the time about other Christians. Romans 15:1-3 says, "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: 'The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.'" We worship together to praise God, but also meet together to encourage one another (Hebrews 10:24-25). We should not gather as a church to hear a speaker verbally scourge suffering people, but we should search the scriptures together and pray fervently that we may help the damaged person heal and return to active service. If a person's (or group's) presence threatens the spiritual stability of the congregation, then we meet and discuss face-to-face how their actions endanger the health of the community while remembering to check our preferences to see if they align with the word and will of God. Because my parents encouraged me to make assembling with Christians a priority, when I encountered a difficult time in my life when it would have been easy to suffer alone and stop "going to church," I kept going. I found it hard to pray at that point in my life and it was difficult to sing some songs. Some sermons were harder to hear and some well-meaning brethren just did not understand what I was experiencing. Still I kept assembling and I continued to read the Bible regularly (Strange, I think, that I found it hard to talk to God for a while but still was willing to listen to him). The small congregation embraced me and helped me to heal, using me when I was willing and my work would help others. Some told me that my presence encouraged them. I survived spiritually because that church and my family of origin loved me. Some hurting people have hurt themselves, and as part of the healing process, must realize and articulate the part they played in creating their pain. We call this repentance and confession; both acts are essential for spiritual healing. If they haven't done so already, they will need to follow the example of the Apostle Paul in washing their sins away in baptism (See Acts 22:16). Some may be unable to reverse the effects of their actions; just as a physical amputee learns to function without a hand or with a prosthesis, they can learn to function in their new reality. Other hurting people have been abused - verbally, physically, or emotionally. They don't need more abuse. They need love, and lots of patience. So, if you're hurting spiritually, don't try to solve your problems in isolation. Reach out for help to a community of faith, a church that takes God, Christ, and the Bible seriously, but that remembers also that it is the family of God and the body, the church of Christ, an entity that heals rather harms. If you're within such a group, and someone confesses difficulty, pain, or sin, don't rush to ostracize. Pray and study to learn how you may help this person to heal and to grow up to become the healthy disciple God wants them to be. As Paul the apostle wrote, " Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God" (Romans 15:7). In the end, we all have fallen short, and that is why we need a family, a church, where we may heal and feel safe. .

Growing in Godliness

Individual Christians and churches should aim to grow in godliness. When we look at Titus 3:8-14, we discover in the concluding paragraph of a letter from a spiritual mentor to his evangelist protege several insights as to how to become more like God. When we examine the entire letter to discern what strengths and weaknesses the evangelist Titus and the church on Crete had, we discover that what Paul the mentor encouraged and what he said to avoid probably reflected what was happening there. We discover also that those Christians were like many of us today. Some Christians' lifestyles had not changed much since their conversion, and they should have! Older men had not earned the respect of younger men. Older women slandered. Servants conspired against their masters, did as little work as possible and stole. In response, Paul set down principles for godly living so that "those who have believed in God might take care to practice good works" (Titus 3:8). Christians must concentrate on doing what is good. We must make a conscious effort to do the right thing. If you have tried to catch a football that was thrown to you, you know that the football was not drawn to your hands by electromagnetic force. Growing in godliness is like that. You have to decide to do it, whether the good work is sharing food with the hungry, taking care of your children or telling someone about salvation through Jesus. To grow in godliness, Christians and especially evangelists, must avoid controversial questions. That does not mean that they tolerate heresy or promote lax behavior. Christians should focus on positive aspects of following Christ rather than arguing about every little thing that comes up. Paul warns Titus here to go out of his way to avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, quarrels and disputes about the law. He says that these activities are useless and idle. They do not produce growth in individuals or churches. Christians must avoid enforcing traditions as God's law and arguing over unimportant issues if they are to grow in godliness. Paul had left Titus on Crete for two reasons - to appoint elders and to set in order the things that were lacking (Titus 1:5). One might infer that Titus had been so busy trying to resolve every little dispute that he had not taken the time to what Paul had told him to do. To grow in godliness, Christians must correct divisive personalities who threaten to disrupt the unity of the church. Remember that Paul wanted Titus to appoint elders and set in order the things that were lacking. Elders, as mature spiritual leaders, would possess the credibility to address such problems. Paul told Titus, as an evangelist, to " convince them rigorously so that they might be healthy in the faith." Sometimes even the most patient counseling and thorough, sound teaching by well-grounded elders and evangelists fails to correct a problem situation in the church. IN this concluding passage of Titus, Paul tells what to do when troublemakers refuse to heed the warnings of the evangelist and elders. First, warn the troublemaker. If he refuses to repent, warn him again. If he still keeps on causing problems. drive him out before he cause more hamr to the body of Christ. His own actions have testified that he is not a godly person and that he intends to hurt the church. Divisive actions within the body of Christ are like cancer in the human body; if not treated early, they prove fatal. Note that the expulsion occurs only after several attempts to reason with the individual. Loving biblical discipline seeks first to restore the sinning Christian. Then all Christians can concentrate on doing good. But why this emphasis on doing good? Why avoid controversial questions? Why discipline divisive personalities? Paul writes in Titus 3:14, "Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives." Older men will deserve and receive respect; older women will win the respect of younger women who will follow their examples in living for Christ. Younger men will use common sense and accomplish far more. Employees will earn respect from supervisors. We don't do this to earn salvation, but to demonstrate that we have received it and are grateful to the God who "saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life" (Titus 3:5b-7).